Departures
by Azalee
Summary: Kanone used to come back when he said he was leaving. KanoneEyes light shounen ai


I _was_ trying to write something to post in the French Spiral category, I swear I tried, but I'm thinking in English lately. (I was also supposed to be studying for my exams. Still am, actually.) And this started out as the end paragraph of something else entirely, but I decided the idea deserved more attention and I didn't want to end the other thing on this. (Said other piece might or might not get posted one day. I'm lazy.)

So ya. It's my birthday in a few minutes but I doubt I'll get Spiral or even Kanone as a present. (I still have hope, though !)

The last and shortest paragraph contains spoilers for the manga, but I guess the only people that don't know about it yet don't care too much. Still, you might get confused. And there's also very light shounen-ai somewhere, because I'm obsessed with them.

See any spelling or grammar mistake, please tell me :)

* * *

"I'm leaving," Kanone says one morning, voice light and so very _normal_, as if it's only natural to say this and to say it so bluntly.

His best friend (only friend, and so much more) stares at him with eyes wide open in shock, whispers "why ?" and does not get any answer.

"I know," Eyes finally says a little bit later, standing in the doorway of Kanone's room as he watches his friend pack. "It's Kiyotaka, isn't it ?"

Kanone looks up and smiles, blows him a kiss like it's all a joke, heaves his bag on his shoulder and walks past him, out the door, without letting any part of their bodies touch. He strokes the heads of his favourite cats when they come to rub their backs against his trousers, whispers something unimportant and reassuring but doesn't even turn back once.

Eyes can't sleep that night and doesn't even try to. He's only lightly dozing off on the couch when Kanone comes back at five in the morning.

"Ah, too bad, you got me," Kanone smiles as Eyes sits up brutally. "I didn't want to wake you, I figured I'd just have a quick nap on the couch and make breakfast, I'm sorry."

And Eyes knows, as he uncharacteristically grabs his best friend and hugs him tight and long, relief washing over him in waves, it isn't only for waking him that Kanone is sorry.

* * *

"That's it, I'm leaving," Kanone shouts months later.

"Right," Kousuke snorts. "You said that once already, we aren't falling for it again."

Eyes only worries when he doesn't hear an answer or the door banging. He doesn't even bother hitting the red-head or sending Ryouko after him, and runs to Kanone's room to find him gone already.

He spends the night in the living room again, waiting in the dark, and twenty-four hours later he hits Kousuke. "I'm sorry," the red-head whispers with an earnestly sad look in his green eyes. "I'm sorry, I didn't think he'd really..." and Rio kicks him again before he can end his sentence.

Even the cats, still waiting outside, send him angry glares.

Two days later Eyes wakes up to mewling noises and happy voices and the scent of pancakes in the whole house. Kanone smiles brightly at him when he slowly ventures in the kitchen, and punches Kousuke when the red-head tries to take the latest pancake. "That one's for Eyes," he scolds. "As a 'please forgive my stupidity' gift."

Eyes smiles and hits Kanone on the head. "You know I hate pancakes," he reminds him matter-of-factly.

Kanone strokes his skull with a painful wince and quietly repeats "Please forgive me" and stares at him with olive eyes pleading.

Eyes eats three pancakes and thinks they're the most delicious thing he's ever tasted, but doesn't say it.

* * *

It's been one year since Kiyotaka first came when, late into the night, Eyes catches Kanone in the empty hallway, rucksack on his shoulder and face expressionless.

"Sorry I didn't tell you ?" he says with his damn joking voice but not looking amused at all.

"It doesn't really matter," Eyes shrugs like he honestly doesn't care but still stares at Kanone intently. "I'll be worried out of my mind but next week you'll be back."

Kanone laughs, almost, because Eyes still can't find amusement anywhere on his face. "I don't think so," he whispers, and turns around. "There's something I forgot, though," he adds, and Eyes steps aside to let him walk back to his room but Kanone stops in front of him.

Eyes shivers suddenly and isn't sure why, thinks it has to do with Kanone's warmth close to him, Kanone's breath on his face or Kanone's eyes shining gold and staring straight into his.

"Since I guess I've got nothing left to lose," Kanone whispers, and kisses him.

* * *

He wakes up on the couch again, finds there's a warm (icy cold) cover laid upon him and deafening silence in the empty house.

He still remembers the touch of Kanone's lips, a split-second (burning intimacy and breath short) before the shock on the back of his neck and the brutal black-out. Kanone has never feared anything besides disappointing him.

The cats are waiting outside the door, but even they seem to feel there's something wrong ; they look up at Eyes with one identical hopeful, then hopeless, air on their expressive faces, let out low worried mewls and pace in circles, bumping into each other and neither even caring, every one of them looking restless and forsaken. "This time is for good", they seem to say, "isn't it ?" and their round heads hang down sadly. Eyes lets them enter without really noticing it, but only a few even care to go in.

The plates outside are empty, and upon checking in the many secret caches Eyes finds their best guns and knives gone.

He sits down in the freezing kitchen, and for the first time in long, long years, he feels like crying.

Suddenly there's something wet and rasp on his cheek ; he looks up to shining slit irises. The cat mewls softly and licks his face again, and he half smiles and takes the animal in his arms, and holds it tight against his chest.

Himalayan, he thinks, Kanone's secret favourite.

"Well, that makes two of us," he whispers in the warm fur.

* * *

A year later, Kanone comes back, blood on his hands and laugh in his voice and despair in his eyes, wanting and trying and failing to kill them all. When it's over and they can call each other friends (_brothers_) again, he smiles softly and says "I'm staying this time" and Eyes doesn't think when he finally kisses Kanone back.

And when days later, Kanone leaves again, he hadn't even planned it himself, hadn't even wanted it, and Eyes knows there's just no way he can come back this time.


End file.
